This hit me like a brilliant solar flare this morning. Thank you. I am at the beginning of knowing what to do about my mother and oldest daughter, two people I cannot really tolerate right now; and yet to continue to keep the portal of communication shut with them - as I had to do a few weeks ago to keep my own sanity - is starting to feel wrong. I am hopeful of some understanding and respect for each other’s boundaries. Both these people literally suck the air out of a room, and no one can be themselves in their presence. While all of us had tolerated this for years, because to do otherwise is just too sticky and ultimately unsuccessful, it is starting to feel like to continue to either play along with their gaslighting and self-absorption or shut them out completely denies not only me, but them also, the possibility of learning to be more fully human.
(My oldest daughter was given up for adoption when I was in school, not because I wanted to, but because at the time I had no choice. She found us when she came of age and was allowed to open her adoption records. She was so badly wanted by her adoptive parents that they gave her everything she asked for, and she grew very selfish and entitled. I do not blame them, they love her very much, are truly lovely people and gave her a life I never could have done. But she is a very trying person to be around, nothing is ever enough for her, and she knows how to manipulate and feed off of others’ guilt and sadness. It is weird and upsetting that she is so like my mother, whom she never met until an adult and who also will not tolerate her presence (a friend put it succinctly: there is only enough room for one of them in the house at any time).
Anyway, thank you for this post. I will read it again a few times while figuring out what to do. Peace and blessings.
Hiya love! I saw it come through yesterday in my phone. I starred it to get to today on my laptop, but it is not there anymore….just the one you sent a week and a half ago.
Beautiful message and so much of this is what I am fully letting go of, I had a lot of breakthroughs on narcissistic dynamics especially and I'm releasing these within, thank you ❤️
My pleasure Laurel! Glad it spoke to you. I hope you’re super proud of yourself for all the breakthroughs you’re making. It’s an incredible thing 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
My pleasure Susannah. I am sorry for all you’re going through - it’s tough making this call, especially given the situation with your daughter. I hope you find the answers and wisdom you need to honour your soul in this predicament. Dealing with these family situations can be so tough, and going no contact is such a difficult but sometimes necessary decision. I’m glad you took the time to shut off communication with them to recover yourself. I would ask myself how you felt in that portal of non communication versus when you’re out of it. Sending you love as you continue to figure out what is best for you moving forward 🙏🏾✨✨✨
thank you Solarah, the illumination in this post is echoing in the within fields… i can glimpse the survival modes in me framing the doors for exploitation. recreating the bubble/ home field now 🩷
Thank you Solarah, thank you so much,. Powerful, clarifying, timely, strengthening message. The lion is out of the cage, standing strong, with grace. Sending much love and gratitude to you .
This hit me like a brilliant solar flare this morning. Thank you. I am at the beginning of knowing what to do about my mother and oldest daughter, two people I cannot really tolerate right now; and yet to continue to keep the portal of communication shut with them - as I had to do a few weeks ago to keep my own sanity - is starting to feel wrong. I am hopeful of some understanding and respect for each other’s boundaries. Both these people literally suck the air out of a room, and no one can be themselves in their presence. While all of us had tolerated this for years, because to do otherwise is just too sticky and ultimately unsuccessful, it is starting to feel like to continue to either play along with their gaslighting and self-absorption or shut them out completely denies not only me, but them also, the possibility of learning to be more fully human.
(My oldest daughter was given up for adoption when I was in school, not because I wanted to, but because at the time I had no choice. She found us when she came of age and was allowed to open her adoption records. She was so badly wanted by her adoptive parents that they gave her everything she asked for, and she grew very selfish and entitled. I do not blame them, they love her very much, are truly lovely people and gave her a life I never could have done. But she is a very trying person to be around, nothing is ever enough for her, and she knows how to manipulate and feed off of others’ guilt and sadness. It is weird and upsetting that she is so like my mother, whom she never met until an adult and who also will not tolerate her presence (a friend put it succinctly: there is only enough room for one of them in the house at any time).
Anyway, thank you for this post. I will read it again a few times while figuring out what to do. Peace and blessings.
🙏🏾 Solarah please let me know if you received my email. Thank you.
Hiya love! I saw it come through yesterday in my phone. I starred it to get to today on my laptop, but it is not there anymore….just the one you sent a week and a half ago.
Oh no..😟
The opportunity is offered in these times as never before.
Illustrated in The Twelve Blessings by Jesus in 1958, as The New Age was being founded.
Quite the opportunity ✨✨✨
Beautiful message and so much of this is what I am fully letting go of, I had a lot of breakthroughs on narcissistic dynamics especially and I'm releasing these within, thank you ❤️
My pleasure Laurel! Glad it spoke to you. I hope you’re super proud of yourself for all the breakthroughs you’re making. It’s an incredible thing 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
My pleasure Susannah. I am sorry for all you’re going through - it’s tough making this call, especially given the situation with your daughter. I hope you find the answers and wisdom you need to honour your soul in this predicament. Dealing with these family situations can be so tough, and going no contact is such a difficult but sometimes necessary decision. I’m glad you took the time to shut off communication with them to recover yourself. I would ask myself how you felt in that portal of non communication versus when you’re out of it. Sending you love as you continue to figure out what is best for you moving forward 🙏🏾✨✨✨
thank you Solarah, the illumination in this post is echoing in the within fields… i can glimpse the survival modes in me framing the doors for exploitation. recreating the bubble/ home field now 🩷
Thank you Solarah, thank you so much,. Powerful, clarifying, timely, strengthening message. The lion is out of the cage, standing strong, with grace. Sending much love and gratitude to you .